Let The Good Times Roll

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“Swearing is unattractive” I’m not attractive anyway so fuck off

1 week ago with 286,618 notes

onefitmodel:

realising that we’re almost halfway through the year 2013 and i have literally achieved nothing

at least you are a taco.

1 week ago with 67,781 notes

i’d like to thank the 5 followers of mine who acknowledge my existence

1 week ago with 172,419 notes

making a new f riend

reaLIZING TOO LATE THAT YOU DONT WANT TO BE FRIENDS W/ THEM

1 week ago with 22,616 notes

niallhortonhearsawho:

a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt

1 week ago with 94,950 notes

I’m crying because I’m eating brownie batter with a spoon that looks like this:

and when the batter seeps through the holes it looks like this:

1 week ago with 57,520 notes

society: oh you have your period? well you have two options.
woman: okay.
society: you can use sanitary pads, which make you feel like you are wearing a diaper, and have the added fun benefit of being extremely uncomfortable and give you the extreme paranoia that they will not be enough coverage and at any moment with any movement or sudden sneeze you'll bleed over onto your clothes and walk around all day with blood stained trousers while everyone points and laughs at you.
woman: sounds awful. what's my second option.
society: a penis shaped wad of cotton that you shove uncomfortably inside yourself and it catches the blood before it leaves your body.
woman: still seems pretty awful.
society: wait! it gets better! there's the outside chance that using those will kill you!
woman: well, are they at least free? like how men can have access to free condoms? i mean, it's not like i'm choosing for this to happen.
society: HAHAHA! that's funny. no, you have to pay for them. and they're really fucking expensive.
woman:
society: oh, and if you tell anyone that you ARE on your period, your judgement, opinions, and reactions are going to be dismissed as the crazy ramblings of a lunatic.
woman:
society:
woman: i think i'll go with my third option.
society:
woman:
society: what third option?
woman: i think i'll bleed on everything you love.

1 week ago with 132,736 notes

beben-eleben:

There once was a young boy with a very bad temper. The boy’s father wanted to teach him a lesson, so he gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper he must hammer a nail into their wooden fence.
On the first day of this lesson, the little boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. He was really mad!
Over the course of the next few weeks, the little boy began to control his temper, so the number of nails that were hammered into the fence dramatically decreased.
It wasn’t long before the little boy discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Then, the day finally came when the little boy didn’t lose his temper even once, and he became so proud of himself, he couldn’t wait to tell his father.
Pleased, his father suggested that he now pull out one nail for each day that he could hold his temper.
Several weeks went by and the day finally came when the young boy was able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
Very gently, the father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
“You have done very well, my son,” he smiled, “but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.”
The little boy listened carefully as his father continued to speak.
“When you say things in anger, they leave permanent scars just like these. And no matter how many times you say you’re sorry, the wounds will still be there.”

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